I spend about 87% of the day in a day dream. While I drive, while I’m at work, at the gym, now.

I love getting lost in my mind. Thinking about the future, the past, sometimes the present…but mostly the future and what it can become if I just continue to work hard and keep on this new path.

I told a good friend today about things I’ve been working on in my life…that I hope is beyond CMT, all she said was, “it’s good to always have something brewing.” This simple phrase struck me more than you can imagine. For as long as I can remember I’ve always had something else “brewing,” in my life to prepare me for my next step.

This realization lead me to my next thought. Nashville doesn’t have much to offer me anymore. Much of this blame goes to my parents, who moved my brother and I so many times growing up, that I was never able to grow bored of my “hometown,” because I never had one. This doesn’t make me sad, my childhood and life were/are incredible. But…it did damage my  will to want to stay in a place long enough if I can move onto something new and different.

And this is the crossroads that I am at today. Where is my next step to? Thoughts of leaving Nashville keep creeping up, and it breaks my heart. So many amazing friendships and memories here. I really grew when I packed my Toyota up 5 and a half years ago and came here for an internship at CMT that turned into my dream job…but it’s not my dream job anymore. My dreams have changed. My dreams now long to be around family more, to write comedy scripts for television not country music news. My dream is to make people laugh! Every time a show makes me crack up so hard that I have to rewind it or pause, and then watch again…I want that to be the writer that says “You’re Welcome”. And I want it bad.

That’s one of my biggest vices in life. Good and bad. When I want something, I’ll do whatever I have to do (with my morals in mind) to get there. And I am having a hard time accepting this dream because of it’s giant leap of faith aspect. So…I’ve decided to give myself about 2 months-if I can wait that long, not my strong suit. Two months to see if any of my auditions get picked up, two months to job hunt, two months to decide whether or not I want to pack up my house and possibly end up in a tiny apartment in Burbank with 4 roommates. 

Here is to leaping when the moment is right…

K.

I feel extremely blessed tonight. Sad, but so so blessed. I have been blessed with people in my life that I long to be around. I have such an amazing family, and always manage to find so many amazing friends. It’s hard to say I just have one favorite person because all of these different people fill a part of my heart in their own way. I hope everyone enjoys friendships as much as I do with your family members and those random strangers who come into your life. The only downfall to the majority of my favorite friendships is that the people whom I love with my whole heart are so many miles away. Thankfully there are a few only blocks a way.

Here is to new friendships…and old. (I write this tonight sulking about my roommate Kay who left this morning make her way back to Boston to follow a new dream. I can’t even explain how much I’m going to miss her or the difference she made in my life the last year. I feel like God sent her to me knowing she’d help me grow in a way I didn’t think possible. She was the little sister I always wanted. Until we meet again friend. And…this sad attitude is also for my friend and co-worker Rachael who is moving to Tampa to live with her fiance. Two friends in one week…tough on the ol’ heart. No one can make me laugh quite like Rachael does. The woman speaks her mind and is a fashion guru. I love you both so much! Best of luck on your new adventures.)